Get The Party Started
by newportz-princess
Summary: It’s Valentines Day, but more importantly it is also the date of Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper’s Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Chaos will ensure on this wild night! AU. RM. SS.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The O.C.'s rights belong to Josh Schwartz.**

**Summary: It's Valentines Day, but more importantly it is also the date of Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper's Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Chaos will ensure on this wild night!**

**Just a random idea that popped into my mind. Enjoy!**

"Can't we have it on a different night? Because I don't-" Marissa Cooper asked her best friend, Summer Roberts.

Summer sighed, and put down her list of reputable strippers in the area.

"Marissa? Seriously honey, realistically, you and Atwood will have years of V-Days to come. Just let loose, this one night!" she prodded with a mischievous grin.

Marissa shook her head and laughed softly, "Fine. This one night, no surprises either. So you can throw that list away."

Summer pouted, then resentfully handed the notebook over to the soon-to-be-bride.

"Thank you," Marissa said, placing it firmly in her handbag.

"Is that new?" Summer noticed the gorgeous Versace bag that Marissa possessed.

"Uh-huh, Ryan was feeling generous," Marissa replied.

"I wish my husband was rich. Except Seth has to be a Comic Book designer or whatever," Summer sipped her Champagne, stealing a glance at Marissa's engagement ring compared to her own.

"Oh come on! Seth and you are hardly poor," Marissa argued.

"I know it's just. I don't know…" Summer replied, confusing herself.

"Wonder what the boys are up to?" Marissa wondered aloud.

"Probably making reservations at a Strip Club, unlike some people…" Summer trailed off, referring to the dead end and boring events Marissa was yet to suggest.

"Okay, first off, Ryan is not getting a stripper! And secondly, how the hell do you know about strip club reservations?" Marissa inquired.

"I may have, at one time or an other, planned a little something for you…" Summer said looking away from Marissa's glare.

"But you canceled it, right?"

Summer still refused to meet Marissa's stare.

"Right?" Marissa asked again, wide eyed.

"Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah…" Summer responded, sipping once again at her glass to avoid further awkward answering.

"Okay, awesome. So be here around eight…yep…thanks Jade…oh right sorry, so what do you go by? Wait, let me guess; Jade the stripper! No? Right that was a bad guess...Uh, pardon? Say your name? But I can't say that I am familiar with your name…you want me to what?? Uh, Miss, Jade, stripper, miss, uh, lady, or whatever you are called, um, I'm sort of married…oh! Right, well I can't just divorce her because you say I'm…seriously? You think? No one has ever referred to me as sex on a scrawny stick before…Nurse Nancy? You want me to call you that? Right-eo, look Nurse, uh, Nancy, I have to go now, so I'll see you later…no I don't have the time to talk any more…and no I most certainly can't do _that_. Okay, lovely talking to you too…no, Nancy, oh right, sorry, Nurse Nancy, I can't, and I have to go- Er, hello? Hello? Are you there?"

"She hung up?"

"Yup, next," Seth replied, flipping to the next page of the phone book.

"Where is Ryan anyway? Haven't seen him all day," Luke asked.

"Um, you haven't seen him all day, because we've been avoiding him all day. If we see Ryan, he'll get suspicious, because-"

"-Of your big mouth?" Luke finished for Seth.

"Exactly," Seth responded, still mindlessly searching for another stripping agency.

"What about that one?" Luke pointed to a photo of a brunette.

"Can you do it? You seem to have a way better handle on this stuff," Seth asked passing the phonebook over to Luke.

"I get you there," Luke dialled the number and waited while it rung.

"You've reached Orange Pulp, if you're looking for a blond, press 1. Prefer brunette? Press 2. Want a lady in your area? Press 3. But don't forget our nasty ladies! Press 4 and see how heated things can get! Renting for the night? Go on, dial 5…" Luke listened closely to the automated woman's voice.

"Anything?" Seth prompted.

"Dude, listen to this," Luke passed the phone on, and watched as Seth's expression changed from pissed off, to an on-the-verge-of-laughing grin.

"Dial 5?" Seth asked Luke.

"What is 5?"

"Renting for the night or something," Seth said.

"I guess. We should see if one of the 'nasty ladies' can do home calls," Luke voiced, smirking as an expression of disgust came upon Seth's face.

"Why am I friends with you?" Seth teased.

"I wonder the same thing," Luke responded.

"Okay, lets do this," Seth gave Luke the phone and waited.

After a few rings, some one finally picked up, "Hi, how can we be of service?"

"Uh, I was hoping to get a stripper for the night…for a bachelor party."

"Okay, first off, we are not strippers-"

"You're not!" Luke interrupted.

"Let me finish young man."

Luke rolled his eyes and continued to listen, "go on then."

"Us here at Orange Pulp are deeply sexual performers-"

Luke once again cut her off, "deeply sexual performers who strip right?"

Seth looked up and started laughing.

"Yes."

"Okay, could I please book a _deeply sexual performer_ for tonight?" Luke asked.

"Any preferences?"

"Just a sec," Luke covered the mouthpiece and turned to Seth, "what does Ryan like?"

"Anything really. He's been with blondes, brunettes, red heads…who knows what else."

"Thanks, that was extremely helpful," Luke sarcastically commented, before uncovering his hand from the phone.

"Uh, no preferences. Is it possible to be here around 8?" Luke said to the woman on the other line.

"Of course. So, no preferences? At all?"

"No, why?"

"Oh no reason. What's the address?"

"Yeah, hey there, I was just confirming for tonight," Summer said, clutching her cell phone close to her ear.

"Name?"

"Um, my name is Summer but the thing is under Cooper. It's for 8 o'clock."

"Yup, that's all booked. Are you aware you have another stripper coming too? There are actually two performers attached to your name, both for eight."

Summer wrinkled her forehead, "I only requested one."

"Do you want to cancel one?" The woman asked.

"Uh…no, two are fine. Is there any extra cost?" Summer asked.

"The other stripper is under another account."

"Oh," Summer replied.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Who booked for Cooper also?" Summer said curiously.

"It's…let me check…Atwood, does that make sense?"

"That's so cute! Ryan got a stripper for Marissa," Summer exclaimed.

"Right. I have someone on the other line, so have a good night."

"Thanks, you too," Summer hung up and walked inside to where Marissa was.

"Who was that?" Marissa asked, preparing a salad in the kitchen.

"Just Seth. That looks good," Summer perched herself up on the counter.

"Yeah…it didn't take me long…" Marissa said.

Summer gave her a _yeah-right_ look. "Ryan made it last night," Marissa admitted.

"Thought so, you can't cook or make anything, except Mac and Cheese, you rock Mac and Cheese."

"I do don't I?" Marissa smiled.

"Seen Atwood today?" Summer asked, stealing a carrot stick.

"He had to leave early for work, so only briefly this morning," Marissa replied, opening the fridge and grabbing something.

"Want a re-fill?" Marissa poured the sparkling wine into her empty glass.

"I really shouldn't," Summer said, rattling her car keys.

"Where are you going? I thought we were spending the day together," Marissa whined, waving around one of many credit cards under Ryan's name.

Summer reluctantly smiled, "I just have to make a call."

"Another! My god," Marissa said, fiddling with her salad while Summer went back outside.

After studying the lump of vegetables, Marissa stuffed it back in the fridge and grabbed bar of chocolate.

"Hey Anna, be here around eight o'clock. Can you call Taylor and a few others and tell them the same…cool, I'll see you later," Summer snapped her phone shut and went back inside to see a chocolate rimmed mouth and a beer, both possessed by Marissa.

"What happened to the salad and champagne?"

"Don't ask," Marissa replied, offering a beer to Summer.

"Ew, I'm fine."

"You've been with Seth too long," Marissa commented with a laugh.

"By the looks of things Coop, you've been with Ryan too long. What's next? Wife beaters? Weight lifting?" Summer echoed Marissa's laughter.

"Hardly. Ready to go?" Marissa asked.

"Definitely…but once you've cleaned your face," Summer said, rustling her hand in her bag.

"Here."

"What is this?" Marissa asked.

"If you read the label, it says 'on the go you never want to look oh-no,' it makes perfect sense," Summer answered, unravelling the plastic cover.

"Right," Marissa said, in a tone not far from mockery.

Marissa wiped her face and the girls headed out.

**TBC**

**I've actually finished this, so once I get a few reviews I'll post the next chapter. It gets funnier, that I promise! Please, PLEASE review!! I **_**BEG**_** you to review, it isn't that hard! LOL. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The O.C.'s rights belong to Josh Schwartz.**

**Thanks for the, uh, 4 reviews? Um, it had WAY more hits than that. So please DO review if you read. You have no idea how pissed off it makes me when people don't review. But you also have no idea how happy it makes me when people do! So I beg! Please freakin' review! LOL. Enjoy the new chapter.**

"It's seven-fifty-seven, when is she getting here?" Zach asked Seth.

"I don't know man!" Seth replied, getting up from the plush leather sofa and joining Luke at the window.

"Hey, is that her?" Luke asked, as a petite brunette got out of a car, followed by a few other women.

"Luke, you did ask for one, right? Not a team!" Seth exclaimed, stressing out.

"I'm fine with a team of strippers," Zach said, smirking.

"I'm with Zach on this one. And stop the 'team of strippers' term," Luke said.

Seth bit his lip, when the front door opened.

"Ryan isn't here! What are we going to do" Seth whisper-screamed.

Zach and Luke shrugged.

"Helooo? Is anyone home?" Summer asked, coming into the living room.

"Summer?! I thought you were at work…Oh my god! You're a stripper!" Seth exclaimed, pacing the room.

"What the hell? No I'm not!" Summer argued. Luke's smirk disappeared.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Summer shot back.

"We have a stripper for Ryan."

"Well, we have a stripper for Marissa."

"Oh jeez," Seth said when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Zach said.

"It could be for us," Taylor said.

"It could be either, or it might be Ryan…or Marissa," Luke said.

The doorbell rang again. "Well somebody go get it!" Summer yelled.

Zach, accompanied by Luke went to answer it.

"Good one Cohen," Summer said.

"Hey, you're a Cohen too, so technically you were talking to yourself," Seth pointed out.

"Quit being a wise-ass."

"Ohh, zing!"

"Hey guys," someone greeted.

Summer, Seth, Taylor and Anna's faces fell when they looked up and saw Sandy, Kirsten and Sophie Cohen standing there.

Seth gave Luke and Zach a look resembling 'dude, get them the hell out of here.'

They both shrugged awkwardly. "How?" Zach mouthed.

"What are you guys doing here?" Summer asked.

"We came over to congratulate Ryan and Marissa on their new house," Sandy motioned his hands around the surroundings.

"Mmmh, nice," Summer said with a fake smile.

"Oh god," Seth muttered at the sound of the doorbell.

"Um, Luke, Zach, why don't you help me get the door," Seth suggested.

"Uh, yeah…" Zach said following Seth and Luke to the front foyer.

"What the hell are we gonna do?" Luke asked. The doorbell rang once more.

"I don't know! If it's the...oh god," Seth replied in horror.

"We just need to get your parents the hell out of here," Luke stated the obvious.

"Thanks Luke. I was having trouble coming to that conclusion," Seth shot back in sarcasm.

"Funny."

"Shut up, we need to figure this out," Zach stated.

"Duh."

"Seth, you're not a teenage girl, so don't say that," Luke told.

"Fine," Seth mumbled.

"What's taking you so long to answer the door? They're ringing like mad," Sandy came into the foyer with Sophie.

"Yeah Seth, open the door," Sophie prodded with a giggle.

"Yes...right...opening a door. Simple. Easy. Got it," Seth reached for the handle and turned it.

When they saw who was at the door Zach, Luke, Seth, Sandy and Sophie's eyes widened...in delight.

"Hi, did someone order a pizza?"

"Dude, thank you. I'm starving," Seth accepted it and paid the delivery guy, who didn't seem to leave.

"When did you order a pizza?" Luke asked, already eating a slice.

"Don't know," Seth replied.

"Ooh yum," Summer said, approaching the pizza once the boys and Sophie were back in the main room.

"Can I get a slice?" Seth asked, trying to get passed everyone.

"Don't worry," a voice said. Everyone looked to see who it was.

Kirsten dropped her pizza slice and quickly covered Sophie's eyes.

Seth turned around and nearly fainted.

Luke started laughing and had to leave the room.

Summer, Taylor and Anna looked like they were scarred for life.

And the mysterious person, formerly known as the pizza delivery guy hadn't even finished his sentence.

"Come again?" Seth asked.

"I said, don't worry. You can have a slice of me instead," the person said.

"You're the stripper?" Seth asked, his mortifying expression echoing everyone else's.

"What stripper?" Sandy asked.

"Crap," Seth muttered.

"Mommy, I can't see," Sophie tried to manoeuvre around but Kirsten didn't let her go.

"So I'm guessing you're the lucky man. Mr. Atwood, you've been a bad boy," he said to Seth.

"You were delivering pizza like 5 minutes ago. Where did it all go wrong?" Seth asked.

"That was a costume."

"I'm guessing this is too?" Seth asked, motioning for the stripper's _woman_ police officer attire.

"Yeah."

"But you're a dude…wearing make-up and dressing in…oh my god!"

"You said no preferences…" The stripper pointed out.

"And we have no preferences, right?" Seth asked Zach.

"Right," Zach replied uncomfortably.

"Uh, Seth, what's going on?" Kirsten asked.

"Mom, right. You're still here," Seth said. Kirsten nodded.

"Dammit," Seth muttered when the doorbell rang again.

"Where the hell are Ryan and Marissa?" Summer asked in distress.

"Hello? Is anyone home? The front door is unlocked, what if I was a murderer and was trying to kill you all?"

"Oh Jesus Christ! It's the Nana," Seth exclaimed.

"Mom, I didn't know you were stopping by," Sandy said rushing to help the elderly woman into the main room, where Seth, Kirsten, Zach, Summer, Anna, Taylor, Sophie and a drag-queen-stripper were standing.

"Hey is the heinous drag queen gone yet?" Luke asked, coming in from the kitchen.

"Oh," Luke uttered when he saw the Nana…and the 'heinous drag queen' standing there.

"Dude," Seth muttered to Luke.

"Sorry…as you were," Luke told everyone, turning away and walking off to the kitchen again.

"So Mom! What are you doing here?" Sandy asked.

"I came to see you, but you weren't there. Your maid told me you were here so I came to surprise you."

"We are all, SO surprised Nana," Seth said.

"Is it a pleasant surprise? Oh I hope."

"So pleasant," Summer said, a little too sarcastic sounding.

"For a second there I detected a hint of sarcasm, but I guess that's what you get for being around my Sethelah for a while."

Everyone looked around at each other awkwardly when the doorbell rang…again.

"Summer, Anna, would you care to join me in answering the door?" Taylor asked.

Summer, Taylor and Anna scurried out of the main room and into Ryan and Marissa's foyer.

"We have to get rid of the stripper. My husbands Nana can't know about this. As if the drag queen stripping pizza person wasn't bad enough…" Summer trailed off.

"Just answer the door," Anna advised.

"Okay…but if it's a-"

"Do it," Taylor cut in.

Summer muttered under her breath and opened the front door.

"Er, uh…hi…" Summer stammered when a midget stood there. Not exactly what she had in mind.

"Are you the-"

"Yeah. Where's Marina Coopertio?" The midget asked.

"You mean Marissa Cooper?" Summer asked.

"Probably."

"Well, she's a, she's not here at this very second, but-"

Summer was cut off by the Nana, coming to check on them. "Is everything okay?"

"Great. Fine. Perfect." Taylor replied.

"Right…well hello," the Nana greeted the short woman that stood by Summer.

"What's going on?" Sophie asked, coming into the foyer.

"Nothing Soph, go back with your Mom and Dad," Anna told her, trying to keep her eyes away from the midget in a small thong and pasties.

"Is there more pizza?" Sophie asked.

"No, there's no more pizza. Go back with your Mom," Anna said.

"Okay…" Sophie resentfully wandered back to Kirsten.

"Look ladies, I am here to entertain. So am I coming in?"

"Uh…is there any way you could wear something a little more decent?" Summer asked, screwing her face up at the sight of the stripper's unbelievably saggy boobs.

"What you see is what you get, and by the way you're all staring at the jiggly queens, I can tell your wanting it."

Taylor swallowed thickly, "Uh, Anna and I have to go, uh, check on, the, the thing."

Summer glared at them. Mouthing apologies as they walked away, Anna and Taylor went off to the kitchen.

"Can I come in?"

Summer and the Nana looked at the stripper. "Just wait here one second, I'll be back." Summer left the Nana and the woman alone.

The Nana stood uncomfortably and awkwardly cleared her throat, before taking off into the kitchen also.

**TBC**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Now, remember what we talked about? I'll spell it out for you, lol, ****R-E-V-I-E-W!**** Thanks for reading. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: The O.C. belongs to Josh Schwartz; the crazy plot belongs to me. ZOMG! I own something! LOL.**

**Thanks for every single review. I love them all and love you all. This is the last chapter; hopefully the ending isn't a let down. But oh well. Enjoy and I'd really appreciate a review from you! ;)**

* * *

Back in the main room, Sandy, Kirsten, Zach, Seth and Sophie sat, wondering what was going on.

Suddenly a bang came from the kitchen. "Luke what are you doing?" Summer yelled as part of the blender flew off.

"I was trying to make drinks…it didn't turn out so well…"

"Ya think," Taylor muttered.

The Nana chased the spinning part around until she finally got a grip on it. In the process knocking over a bowl of perfectly whipped cream.

Summer gasped, "Kirsten made that to put on the cake her and Soph baked."

"Sorry, sorry, I'll clean it up," the Nana reached for a couple paper towels and pulled…too bad they were covering the cake…which incidentally fell on the ground as well…all over Luke, who was attempting to wipe the whipped cream with a tissue.

"Crap," Summer murmured.

"It's okay everyone, we'll vacuum it up!" Taylor suggested. Everyone looked at her oddly.

"How do you suck up whipped freakin' cream and a chocolate cake?" Summer asked, "and even if you could do that, most of the thing is on Luke anyway," she continued.

"The stripper is still outside, I'll go get rid of her, seeing as how Ryan and Marissa obviously made plans of their own," Summer fled the scene and made her way through the main room and out to the foyer…if she could actually get there.

The woman was inside with the other _male_ stripper and dancing to song that was playing on a boom box. Kirsten had covered Sophie's eyes and Sandy sat there mortified.

"Okay, someone tell me what the hell is going on!" Sandy ordered.

The music seemed to stop on queue and the two strippers took a seat. "No! Not on the sofa, I bought that for Ryan and Marissa. I don't want ass on it!" Summer said with frustration.

The woman shrugged and got even more comfortable.

"So, is anyone going to tell me?" Sandy asked.

Luke, Anna, the Nana and Taylor came out of the kitchen. Sandy raised his eyebrows at Lukes' state.

"Well what happened there?" Sandy chuckled.

"Just a little incident with the blender…and uh, Kirsten's cake…" the Nana said casually, trying not to bring too much attention to the scenario.

"Why are there two strippers-"

"We're actually deeply sexual performers," the drag said in a spiritual voice.

Sandy sighed then continued, "Why are there two _deeply sexual performers _at Ryan and Marissas' house?"

"Long story…and sadly, not one I am comfortable with sharing with the group," Seth said.

"I'll take Sophie out for a sec," the Nana said, taking her granddaughter by the hand and leading her outside.

"All right, so what happened?" Sandy asked.

"Well, the quickest way to explain, is that we hired a couple of strippers-"

The woman frowned, "Nah-uh-uh. Deeply sexual performers my child."

Seth screwed his brows, "Yeah, what she said, so we hired one for a Bachelor party for Ryan. And the girls obviously hired one for Marissa."

Kirsten cleared her throat, "I'm going to go, check on Sophie."

"Okay, mom, you do that," Seth cheered, then went serious again once she left. "The reason it's been a little – or a lot – hectic, is because," he turned his attention to the strippers, "you guys suck."

"Oh. Well we'll be off then, if you no longer require our services," the woman said, standing up and leaving. When the drag queen didn't follow, she turned around, "come on!"

"I want to stay, I'm quite hungry," he looked at Luke and winked.

Luke avoiding his gaze and got up, "I'm gonna go wash up."

"Yeah, me too. I'm," Anna looked down at herself and noticed her outfit was perfectly fine, "I'll help Luke turn on the tap."

"Look, it was really nice having you guys, but please leave already!" Seth asked of the strippers.

"No. We came here to perform…and that's what we are going to do. Hit it!" Drag dude asked the woman. She pushed play on her black boom box and started moving around the room.

"Are you sure this is stripping. I mean, isn't stripping supposed to make you horny? Personally I feel terrified," Seth stated. Sandy gave him a disturbed look.

"First off, I don't want to hear about you being horny and second off, this _is_ pretty scary."

"Do you maybe wanna go get some pizza or something?" Taylor suggested.

"I'm game," Seth agreed. Sitting up and joining Summer, Taylor and Sandy for the small stalk to the door.

The two strippers were too caught up in their _deeply sexual performing _to notice they had gone.

Not long later, Anna and Luke came into the main room, looking around they noted that no one was there…except of course the two strippers who were in a world of their own.

"Should we maybe go…?" Luke said quietly.

"Yeah, lets…" Anna agreed. The pair slowly wandered to the door, trying to be as stealth as possible.

"Where do you think you're going?" Drag dude suddenly asked. Anna began to laugh and quickly slipped out the front door, leaving Luke alone.

"I, uh…Anna?"

"Oh she's gone. Looks like it's just the two of us."

The woman put on a CD and changed the song. "That's the kind of groove I'm looking for," he said to the woman.

_Just the two of us  
We can make it if we try  
Just the two of us  
_

"Oh my god…" Luke muttered as the stripper glided towards him.

"I have a feeling you'll be saying that again."

_Just the two of us  
Building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us  
You and I  
_

"No…no, not the two of us!" Luke exclaimed.

"Oh yes…just the two of us," he said as he continued coming closer and closer to Luke.

* * *

About half an hour later, Ryan and Marissa pulled into their driveway. Coming back from a dinner at the Arches, they were not expecting what they saw when they came in the door.

Presumably a male was giving Luke a lap dance and up-beat music pumped in the background. The mortified expression on Luke's features made it extremely hard for them to suppress their laughter.

Ryan and Marissa stepped backwards and carefully closed the door again. Leaving Luke and his _friend _alone.

"That's not something you see everyday," Ryan commented.

**Fin.**

**Thank you for reading this fic. I'd really love and appreciate a review. I hope you enjoyed it and found some amusement from the craziness. lol.  
**


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